If I would have to describe the whole ‘Koh Phi Phi experience’ in one word that word would be DISGUSTING.
There are not a lot of people who wouldn’t know where Koh Phi Phi is or why it’s so famous. If you don’t, then you really need to watch ‘The Beach’ which features young Leonardo di Caprio and is probably an all time favourite backpackers’ movie. No surprise that I love it too and Koh Phi Phi was on my bucket list for a very very long time. So I knew that I HAD to spend at least a couple of nights there and see the famous Maya Bay. However it left me with nothing more than disappointment.
1. It’s not even that beautiful
So Phi Phi Islands, actually consist of two islands – Koh Phi Phi Don (where everyone stays and parties all night long) and Phi Phi Lee (which is an inhabitant island where the Beach was filmed). There’s a huge difference between these two, however I would still have to say that they are both not that beautiful and I say this for a number of different reasons. First of all, despite the fact that Koh Phi Phi Don is the most touristy place in Thailand, it’s beach is probably also the worst I’ve seen in this country. The water was dirty, full of trash, smelled of hell knows what and was as warm as a p*ss. So if you came here to take those ‘white sand, blue water and Thai fishing boats’ type of pictures, your little bubble will be burst very quickly.
Secondly, Koh Phi Phi Lee… Ok, I will have to agree that it’s quite picturesque and I totally get why Danny Boyle chose it to film ‘The Beach’, however… it’s so touristy that you are not going to enjoy it. There’s no chance you will be able to spend some time relaxing, sunbathing or swimming because boats come and go every hour and you will have to leave almost immediately after you’ll take your obligatory pictures. Speaking of which… you will not be able to take any GOOD obligatory pictures as you will be surrounded by hundreds of other tourists who will definitely be in the way, no matter which angle you’ll take.
Lastly and most importantly, so many tourists have been brought to this island in the last 15 years that it almost completely destroyed the eco system. Maya Bay has now been closed for tourist. So if you ask me, there are definitely better places in Thailand to enjoy some sun and take Instagram worthy pictures.
2. It’ a waste of your money
And yes, you’ve guessed it. As Koh Phi Phi is pretty much driven by tourism and as they advertise ‘f*cking strong’ bucket sales, the prices are also probably the highest I’ve seen anywhere in Thailand. Of course, you can go on a number of tours starting with Maya Bay ending with booze cruises. However that will cost you a good dollar or two. For example, a 4-5h tour to Maya Bay, a little bit of snorkelling and the Monkey beach will cost you a good £30 whilst of you go to Koh tao a full day snorkelling tour around the island will cost you only £12. Eating out is also almost double the price than i.e. Koh Lipe and you’ll also have to dig deep for your buckets and cocktails (because in all honesty, there’s nothing else to do there). And I’m not even going to start talking about Thai culture as you won’t find anything else in Koh Phi Phi other than bars, tattoo shops and 24/7 diners.
3. Probs the trashiest nights out you’ll find
Last but not least, Koh Phi Phi is a party island. It’s not a place for families with kids or those who have any taste in… anything really. The island is full of youngsters getting trashed everynight, dancing on the tables and in search of one night stands. The music choice in bars is pretty appalling as well, unless all you want to hear is the same 20 songs from the top 2018 pop music list and sing to Despacito for like a millionth time. You get the drift.
And don’t even get me started on their famous Ibiza pool parties which are good for only one thing – play the guessing game of how many people are currently having sex in that pool? Seriously who would even dare to step into that pool full of STDs? I have to say being in Koh Phi Phi felt a bit like a social experiment. I am no stranger to parties, however I was always very picky when it came to DJs and nights out, so it’s no surprise that Koh Phi Phi just… wasn’t my cup of tea.
So if you have a poor taste in music, men and alcohol or you just want to get trashed and pick up a couple of STDs then go to Koh Phi Phi. You’ll enjoy it. If not, maybe save your time, energy and money for other islands such as Koh Lipe or Koh Tao.
P.S. The picture isn’t even from Koh Phi Phi. It was Koh Tao. What did I say?